Monthly Archives: December, 2012

The changing nature of friendship

Well, I haven’t updated this blog since August, but I’m back! To the blogosphere, anyway. I didn’t actually go anywhere. I’m not that cultured.

Anyway, I just wanted to make a few points about what I’ve learned about adult friendships in the six months that I’ve considered myself an adult.

They are different from the friendships you had in college, even if they’re friends from college. But different in a good way.

In college, you were surrounded by your peers 24/7, lived with them, ate with them, took classes with them, and essentially came of age with them and lived life alongside them–literally. But all of that changes when you graduate.

When you graduate, you all of a sudden need to become more intentional about the time you spend with these friends. Sure, when you have some extended time together, you can just sit and do nothing. But when you only see them for a weekend, or even for an hour, suddenly the need to dig into each other’s lives becomes that much more pressing. You really want to hear how they’re doing, what’s going on in their lives, how God is working through them and what they need prayer for. You let them know how much their friendship means to you, how much you value their presence in your life. And those moments become so precious.

I’ve noticed a difference with making new friends, too. When you all have those real-life jobs that keep you busy and you only see them once or twice a week, it’s definitely harder to start up meaningful friendships. You need to plan out the time to see each other sometimes what seems like months in advance, and it might be hard to open to them until you learn to trust them–which also takes longer because you don’t see them that often. But you learn, and eventually open up, and tell them your fears, and then they reassure you with solid Biblical truth. And all of a sudden, it’s like something shifts, and you feel as though you could become as close to these new friends as you could to your college friends.

That’s what I think is just so cool about the body of Christ. Even though your community changes and definitely takes on a different flavor with each new season of life, the safety and security you feel with them doesn’t change. Because God is unchanging, so is the feeling of security that comes with community through Him. Praise the Lord for what He has done for us by dying on the cross for our sins, by giving us the ability to have a relationship with the unchanging God even throughout the change in our lives that can sometimes feel like utter turmoil. Praise the Lord for that, and praise the Lord for true friendships and true community, even as the seasons of our lives change.

Tell me, what are your views on the subject?

And now I want to leave you with a glimpse into my college community that I love so much, these wonderful friends who have stood by me through pretty much everything. Both of these pictures were taken after I graduated and moved to Cincinnati, proving that these friendships can most definitely last, even over long distances!

Photo by rachelferchak
And a second one! And I didn’t mean to make one bigger than the other, but I can’t figure out the HTML right now, so there’s that…
But yes, a second friend picture 🙂